True Friendship Is About Support, Not Spying on one’s Life

True friends don’t come with entitlement issues. They don’t need a full itinerary of your life to stick by you.

You know that moment when you realize someone thinks they own a VIP pass to every corner of your life? Yeah, that happened to me. And, wow, what a ride it’s been. Grab your popcorn; I’ve got a story for you.

So, picture this: I decided to keep my wedding date private as much as possible. Not because I wanted to audition for a spy movie or play hard to get—just because it felt right for me at the time.

Turns out, one of my friends wasn’t on board with that. She really wanted the scoop, and when she found out from someone else, let’s just say she didn’t take the news gracefully.

Dzifah Tamakloe

Did she come to me to talk about it like a mature adult? Nope. She aired her grievances like it was an open mic night at Gossip Café. Suddenly, what should’ve been one of the happiest times of my life became a whirlwind of “Wait, she said what about me?”

Here’s the kicker: It wasn’t just her being upset that stung. It was the fact that she thought being my friend meant automatic access to every single detail of my life, no questions asked. And when she didn’t get her way, instead of supporting me, she chose to criticize me…to others. Ouch.

But you know what? Life has a funny way of teaching you lessons through drama. Here’s what I learned: True friends don’t come with entitlement issues. They don’t need a full itinerary of your life to stick by you. They respect your boundaries, even if they’re a little salty about them at first.

True friendship is like that one friend who’ll defend you in public like a superhero but gently pull you aside later and say, “Hey, maybe next time let me know when you’re planning to blow everyone’s minds with a surprise wedding date, okay?”

To all my fellow boundary-setters out there: it’s okay to make decisions for YOU. The real ones—the friends who’ve got your back for real will get it. They won’t use your personal choices as fuel for drama. They’ll cheer for you, respect your privacy, and work through their feelings with you, not about you.

So here is to friendships built on love, loyalty, and the occasional awkward heart-to-heart.

And if someone’s making you feel guilty for setting boundaries, maybe it’s time to ask: Are they a friend, or just a nosy neighbor with a grudge?

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