Children are meant to feel safe, loved, and protected. But for many, home is not a place of comfort—it is a place of fear.
Abuse traps a child in an impossible situation, leaving them with nowhere to turn and no one to confide in. What makes this even more heartbreaking is that, despite the pain, many children still love and protect the very person hurting them.
The Complex Bond Between a Child and Their Abuser
To an outsider, it may seem unthinkable that a child could still love someone who causes them harm. But for a child, love and survival are deeply intertwined.
Children rely on their caregivers for food, shelter, and emotional connection. Even when that relationship is filled with pain, their instinct is to cling to whatever love they can find.
A child may endure abuse but still crave the moments of kindness that follow. They may hold onto the hope that if they behave differently, the person hurting them will change. This is not weakness—this is survival.
Why Children Stay Silent
One of the most devastating aspects of abuse is the isolation it creates. Many children do not speak up because:
• They fear punishment. Abusers often manipulate children into believing that telling anyone will make things worse.
• They feel responsible. Many children internalize the abuse, believing they did something to deserve it.
• They love their abuser. Despite the pain, they may still see the person as family and want to protect them.
• They don’t think anyone will believe them. When abuse happens behind closed doors, children often fear that no one will listen or understand.
This silence can follow them into adulthood, shaping their relationships, self-worth, and ability to trust others.
Breaking the Cycle: How We Can Help
Listening, believing, and creating safe spaces are crucial in helping survivors of childhood abuse. We must:
• Listen beyond words. Sometimes, a child may not have the language to explain their pain, but their actions, fears, and silences speak volumes.
• Offer unconditional support. If a child or adult survivor shares their story, our role is to believe them and reassure them that they are not alone.
• Challenge harmful narratives. No child is ever to blame for their abuse. We must replace shame with compassion and fear with understanding.
• Advocate for safe environments. Whether in homes, schools, or communities, every child deserves to grow up feeling protected and valued.
Love Shouldn’t Hurt
A child should never have to choose between love and safety. They should never feel trapped in silence, carrying pain they don’t understand.
As a society, we must recognize the deep, complex bonds that keep children tied to their abusers and work toward breaking the cycle of abuse with love, patience, and unwavering support.
Because every child deserves to be safe. Every child deserves to be heard. And every child deserves to be free from a love that hurts.
